A page from Tinker's Diary, written and sent to his best friend in England. Barb regularly looks after all the cats and Tinker decided he would send regular updates and requests for treats................

I open one eye. It’s dark but I hear the birds singing outside so it must be early morning. Everyone else is sleeping, snoring is coming from my masters room. Felix is whistling, every time he breathes out, what a noise, that must have woken me. I check the room to see where Alfie is, no sign. I know there will be no sign of life in the kitchen till much later. 

I stand up and stretch and curl up again and sleep once more.

I open one eye again. Smuggle is curled up beside me, how did that happen....... I sleep alone. It was lovely and warm last night and there was someone curled up in every chair. When bedtime came the heater went off and gradually it got colder. Now they have all drifted off in search of warmth. I am surprisingly warm snuggled up to Smuggle, I will let it pass this once.

My mistress is moving about in the kitchen, I must join the queue for food. If I am first a lick-e-lix is put on my plate straight away but if others get in front I have to wait my turn.

 I will move very carefully off the chair and not disturb Smuggle. She takes ages to be fed as she cannot decide what she wants and keeps on chatting until three or four alternatives are open in front of her and then she disappears out of the cat flap in a huff. Then there is a Kerfuffle as the others decide which of the served portions in many flavours they want. I sit and wait patiently......

I then go to the sink and wait for the tap to be turned on so I can drink fresh water.

The other day there was no sign of Smuggle overnight, turned out that my master had locked her in the casita. I suppose her whinging must have got too much. Mind you my mistress was very upset about it and my master got a right telling off. Smuggle whinged about it endlessly all morning and I retreated to the roof of the car. After she had run out of anyone to listen to what happened to her she ran off down the garden and caught a bird egged on by Rosie and Felix and K2. It was like a pride of lions after a kill. I say kill but my master took the bird from Smuggle and set it free outside the gate. Once again she was furious. Half an hour later she had caught a large grasshopper and watched by the others played with it then ate it. I went back to sleep after that as I felt far too much was going on.

This afternoon my mistress staggered inside from working on the new play area which I feel sure is for our benefit. They keep talking about chickens, ducks and geese........ I do not know these words. Anyway, I digress, my mistress staggered into the lounge and threw herself into an armchair........ unfortunately K2 was sleeping in the chair at the time. Well from staggering and barely moving my mistress shot out of the chair vertically, as did K2..... I giggled, oh it was so funny. Both of them shot out of the door followed by me, tears rolling down my cheeks and falling off my whiskers. K2 was brought back inside and made a fuss of but he wasn’t having any of it and rushed past me and up into the tower where no one could sit on him again. He didn’t reappear till tea time and is now back in my mistress’s chair fast asleep and she has been relegated to the sofa. 

I am happy to report my master bought me a new drinking fountain so I do not need the tap turning on again. I have been asking for one for ages. At last I have one......

I am now on my masters bed writing this. I will send it over to you when I get my paws on the iPhone.